Ending The Weight War, One Kind Word At A Time
January 25, 2016
Possibly the most revealing question I believe we can ask ourselves is “What feels like love?” I remember first hearing this in my coach training and being pretty blown away. It’s a question I often ask my clients and when they really engage with it, the answers are almost effortless. It’s a game changer for sure.
Lately I’ve asked myself “What feels like love?” like a relentless, repetitive toddler. I have been working with an incredible coach,Shawna O’Hagan Morrow, who is certified in Susan Hyatt’s BARE program. My goal is exactly the foundation of BARE, to drop the shield and release the extra weight my body is holding on to.
Mae West said “I don’t like myself. I’m crazy about myself”. I would have steadfastly told you that I’m crazy about myself, too. Except that’s not always true. The reality is, my inner mean girl comes out and often directs a slew of nasty words right into my head.
Verbal violence. Words I would never speak towards another person. Words I absolutely would not tolerate if they were said to me by someone else.
Vitriolic self-hatred: Disgusting. Unworthy. Unloved. Awful. Fat. Out of control. Pig. Failure. Ugly.
It’s like the life coach Paige clocks out and the bully Paige heads into work with a briefcase full of shame and disgust. Bully Paige is often willing to put in overtime, too. She’s a hard worker.
She sounds like a real keeper, huh?
So this is where “What feels like love?” comes in. It quietly shuts the bully up and allows me to step back and be curious to what is happening. It lets me listen. It slows me down with a gentle ease I’ve so desperately needed. And the most amazing thing is that it lets me peel away the layers and learn what I need to know- with kindness.
My body needs and wants nourishment. It wants to be given fuel. It tells me when I need to move and what it wants to do. My body lets me know when it needs rest. It tells me when it can go just a little bit longer. My body wants to eat without punishment. It lets me know I am absolutely worthy.
My body wants to be loved.
I asked. My body is telling me what feels like love.
Treating myself with kindness, giving my body exquisite care and compassion.
Loving who I am today. And loving myself enough to release what isn’t serving me- the physical and metaphorical weight.
I don’t have all the answers. This is a process for me that is some of the deepest work I’ve done. I’ve had moments of pain, frustration, shame and guilt. However, slowly my weapons are falling to the floor and I’m feeling the overwhelming love I so very much wanted and deserve.