There Is Room For Us All

October 11, 2016

Alicia Keys has been in the press lately for choosing to not wear makeup. She’s been championed and derided. I overheard a conversation recently that she has a responsibility as a celebrity and as a woman to be attractive.

Ouch. Claws in, people.

Nearly every week I see an article along the lines of “20 Things Women Should Stop Wearing After 30”. Something about a celebrity being too plain or too glam. Drop two sizes. How to fix your beauty mistakes. Five things you’re doing wrong in the bed, in your relationship and in the kitchen.

Heaven forbid a woman own her sexuality – apparently slut shaming is a new hotness.

Do this, not that. Being x is better than y.

Weight, hemlines, careers, bra sizes, reproductive choices – it’s all up for grabs.

It’s a damned if you do and damned if you don’t world.

Being a woman is difficult enough; why are we adding more to the fire?

Bring up a conversation about what constitutes a “real woman” and watch the comments section light up with keyboard warriors, fiercely slinging judgments.

Even worse, it’s often women doing the mudslinging.

It needs to stop.

Ladies, we are better than this.

The playground rules no longer apply.

There is room for us all.

Real women are women who exist.

The ones who don't wear makeup and the ones who do. The ones who rock the Birkenstocks and the ones in four inch heels. The ones who wear no bras and the ones with boob jobs. The ones who stay home with their babies and the ones who don’t; or the ones who choose not to have them.

As a coach, a common thing I hear from women is that they are afraid to be who they are. They are afraid of being judged or shamed. They are afraid to speak up. They stay in the shadow of the “good girls don’t make waves”. They are afraid of being on the “wrong” side. They are afraid of being seen.

They are afraid of simply existing.

They are often apologizing for existing.

This is not okay.

We must raise each other up. Draw the line. Commit to being the light to each other instead of the load.

Have your own back and have theirs, too.

There is room for us all.

Are you ready to claim your room? Let's talk.